Just Two Minutes: The Problem with Being a Problem Solver

Bite-sized dental wisdom in under 2 minutes.

Alright, so I’m a problem solver. I actually enjoy solving problems, and over time, I’ve gotten pretty damn good at it. I’m the fixer in my household—something breaks, I either fix it or at least Google the hell out of how to fix it.

But here’s the problem with being the problem solver: when you’re in a group of people who aren’t problem solvers, guess who ends up doing all the work?

That’s right—me.

Here’s a quick list of groups I somehow end up fixing problems for:

• My kids

• My husband

• My staff

…So basically, everyone I know.

Here’s how this plays out in real life:

Kid: “My toy is broken.”
Me: “Okay, let’s check if it needs batteries.”

Husband: “I can’t make burgers tonight, we don’t have any ground beef.”
Me: “Check the fridge.”
Husband: Finds ground beef in plain sight.

Staff: “What do I say when a caller asks how much a crown is?”
Me: Ends up answering all the calls myself.

See the pattern? If you’re always the go-to for answers, people stop figuring things out on their own.

The Fix? Stop Fixing Everything.

That’s a hard pill to swallow for control freaks like me. But here’s what I’ve learned:

• With kids: Give them the foundation to solve their own problems. “Mom, my toy is broken” turns into “Alright, where do we keep the batteries?”—aka, use your brain before you use mine.

• With staff: Give them the tools and let them figure it out. If someone asks the cost of a crown, instead of spoon-feeding the answer, say, “What do you think you should say?”—aka, problem-solving is part of the job, welcome to adulthood.

• With husbands: Look, I’d love to say train them to be independent, but let’s be real. This one might be a lost cause.

Final Thought

The best way to learn is through reps—meaning, you have to struggle through something yourself to actually get better at it. But if you’re always stepping in, you’re taking the reps away from people who need them.

So next time someone drops a problem in your lap, resist the urge to fix it for them. Instead, hand it back and say, “Alright, what’s your plan?”

-Dr. Alex

P.S. If you have tips on getting husbands to find things in the fridge without a full-blown scavenger hunt, let me know.

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